Before You Meet Prince Charming by Sarah Mally

So Much More by Anna-Sofia and Elizabeth Botkin

Sacred Singleness by Leslie Ludy

I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris

Set Apart Girl by Leslie Ludy

Authentic Beauty by Leslie Ludy

Answering the Guy Questions by Leslie Ludy

When Dreams Come True by Eric and Leslie Ludy

It’s (Not That) Complicated by Anna-Sofia and Elizabeth Botkin

Making Brothers and Sisters Best Friends by Sarah, Stephen and Grace Mally

Boy Meets Girl by Joshua Harris

Extreme Romance by Jesse and Heidi Jost

Leave Dating Behind by Christina Rogers

Bright Lights curriculum by Sarah Mally

Emotional Purity by Heather Paulson

This list (and a few random others that I’ve probably forgotten) are what I like to call Those Books. I read them multiple times as a teen. The first few books on the list I read over and over and over again. They were my anchor, my lifeline, my window into the world of guys and relationships and romance.

The ideas in them thoroughly messed up my thinking. They did NOT lead to healthy relationships with myself, with God, with boys, and even my girl friends. Three years after realizing most of them were built on fear and legalism, and I still find so many warped viewpoints that I have to deconstruct. Even today I was talking with a friend about a belief I held in one of my relationships. She replied, “That’s not true!”, and I realized Those Books were speaking again. Oh well. I have fun punching the lies in the face (with God and my friends’ help).

Part of me is haunted by this list. What if I had read pro-dating books and books from different points of view as a teen? Would I be in this mess?

(Probably yes, because would I have listened to those other ideas as a teen? I’ll never know.)

But the point is I can read different viewpoints NOW. I do. And I shall.

And I’m having fun picking apart the unhealthy bits in Those Books.

Instead of new years resolutions, in 2019 I’m going to be looking for new year’s revelations.

I don’t like goals. They stress me out. Resolutions seem like let-downs waiting to happen. Maybe one day I’ll be friends with goal-setting, but today is not that day. And this coming year is not that year.

In the summer, I felt like God was encouraging me to focus on what is there, not what is missing. I’ve spent so much of my life looking at the gaps and the holes, the places where I’m not living up to expectations (my own or others’). I would look at how I needed to change and where I needed to grow. It’s pretty stressful always living in that emptiness. God’s suggestion was pretty radical for me. I started looking at what was good in my life. What do I do well? What was a great moment from today? What am I proud of? What am I already doing? The shift was a breath of fresh air. Instead of looking at all of holes in my garden beds of life, I started looking at the plants that were already there, and I was astonished by how beautiful they are. It gave me hope. The empty spaces just made me stressed.

I’ll be taking this attitude of looking at what’s already there into the new year. And as 2019 goes on, I hope to stumble across all sorts of amazing new years revelations.

(And I’ll probably write some of them here. No promises though!)

I thought it was about time for a new blog, as many people have been encouraging me to write. I decided to give WordPress a try, so I could learn some new skills while blogging.

I’m pretty good with computers. I was that kid who played with PowerPoint and Word as much as The Sims and Rollercoaster Tycoon. I’ve been able to pick up a lot of computer knowledge just by fooling around and using my prior knowledge. Sort of like how I can get the gist of Spanish by using my knowledge of English and French. I figured learning how to make my own website would be somewhat intuitive.

Well. Turns out WordPress is like me learning Russian. I have to learn a new alphabet before I even understand what’s going on.

Procrastination is pretty happy about that. Instead of writing blog posts, I have to research books and websites with make-your-own-website tutorials. I have to learn coding. I have to read and watch all those tutorials. And it all has to be perfect before I start my blog. 

I have bad news for Procrastination. I’m going to write first, and learn the website business second. Done is better than perfect. As a result, my blog may be rather simple and sometimes messy, but I hope you’ll stick around as I write and learn.

With all that said, let’s dive in. Welcome to my new blog! I have no idea where I’ll end up, but it’s going to be a good adventure.