I am annoyed by the ways that evangelical Christians talk about porn.

It’s incorrect, it places blame on things that are not actually the problem, it leads to disempowerment, it’s a distraction from real deeper issues, and in some cases it feeds right into the hands of grifters. And so I’m going to write a series on it.

Some topics I’ll probably cover:

• Every problem that Christians have with porn is actually a deeper problem with something else.

• Porn is a scapegoat. (It’s not inherently evil or addictive.)

• Porn addiction is not real and anyone who says so is either misled or a grifter trying to sell you something.

• I’d rather have a guy lust over me in his heart than bounce his eyes.

• The way to deal with porn is teach people how to be emotionally mature.

• Women betrayed by their husband’s porn use experience real betrayal, but that comes from a breach of social contract, not some problem inherent with porn.

• What makes porn ethical or unethical? (I don’t have answers but I have more questions.)

This series is aimed specifically at people with a Christian evangelical or fundamentalist background, people who grew up in the world of I Kissed Dating Goodbye, Fireproof, and Covenant Eyes. People who often heard from the pulpit or in Bible studies about the evils of porn and people’s (men’s) struggles with porn addiction.

It’s from the perspective of someone who grew up in that world, and has deconstructed purity culture. I’m still a Christian, but I wouldn’t call myself evangelical any more, and I hold a lot of views that are considered more progressive (as I think the title of this post reveals). I’m demisexual, which means that I don’t experience sexual attraction unless I have formed an emotional connection with someone—this means that a lot of conventional wisdom about sexual attraction and temptation just doesn’t super apply to me. I also have nerdy hyperfixation on sex as a subject and topic of research. I do not have any professional or academic qualifications in this area, I am just a blogger with Opinions.

My measuring stick for whether something is ethical or moral is not “is it biblical?” but rather, “is it Christlike?” Does it lead to greater human flourishing? Does it show the fruits of the Spirit? Heck, does a theology work? For this reason you probably won’t see a lot of Bible verses. I love the Bible, but I think it needs to be read in context, and my ideas are shaped by the whole sweep of the Bible, not specific verses.

Oh and for the sake of this series when I say “porn” I mean sexually explicit media (photos, videos, GIFs, films, artwork, comics, etc) made or shared for the purpose of arousing people. I think audio could also fall into my definition of porn, but I am mostly concerned with visual media, since this is what evangelicals focus on.

I’d love for this series to maybe help people be a bit more chill about porn, and a lot more energised about developing emotional maturity and fixing problems like misogyny, exploitation, and fearfulness. No promises about the regularity of articles being published though. Stay tuned, and we’ll see where this goes!